My biggest pet peeve when it comes to reading Cardcaptor Sakura fanfiction is when writers describe Sakura as being “so beautiful that all the boys want her.” Come on, I know she’s cute, but she’s not freaking Aphrodite!
Submitted by Anon
DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET
SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS
GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS
AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.
I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO
WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.
There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.
The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)
Most hilariously brilliant tutorial I ever read. <3
thank you for this holy fucking shit id you idiots actually think there was fucking lead in CRAYONS?????
THE GODDAMN BOX SAYS ‘NON TOXIC’ ON IT YOU’RE ALL FUCKING STUPID.
I used to fucking EAT crayons. I’m pretty sure there’s no lead.
Using this for my Tribe make up when I cosplay
I feel like the only person who stopped and thought”OMIGOD THERE LEAD IN CRAYONS!” before realising what I just thought.
Robert Glenn, an inmate in the Special Housing Unit (SHU) at Corcoran State Prison in California killed two inmates while in prison. He believes these murders were justified because both men were convicted rapists, one of whom was accused of raping his sister from the age of 8 to 14.
I never thought I would admire a murder
Did you know that in most criminals frown upon rapists and molesters If they find out that they raped or molested a woman they usually treat them terribly like beating them up, or making them die. Criminals don’t even accept that.
Absolutely true, because if you think about it they have families and perhaps kids. If they find out you’re a child molester they are going to hate you.
Sometimes when child molesters go to jail, even the guards are lied to about what the molester did to go there. They sometimes make up a false crime to protect the molester from serious injury.
Ain’t it fucked up that even hardened criminals realise rape is fucking wrong no matter what, but there are some government officials that cannot?
that last fucking comment tho
hello tumblr. i felt you needed to see pictures of me this fine tuesday morning, october 1, in which I felt kind of sick and cuddled up in a blankie and my Queen sweatshirt, while i laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling. it is the most beautiful picture of me that my mom has ever taken. it is my favorite picture.
do you know why?
a CREATURE WHO JUST GOT HER FIRST NOVEL PUBLISHING CONTRACT LOOKS
CHAMELEON MOON(my novel about superpowered trans* people and queer people of many colors fighting for survival and being in love in a dystopian police-controlled city that is falling into a literal lake of fire and saving the day with the power of love and amazingness)
THE WHOLE SERIES. NOT JUST THE BOOK I HAVE FINISHED NOW. BUT SUBSEQUENT WORKS.
and this was all i could do after reading that email. it’s still all i can do.
EXCUSE YOU WHENS THE RELEASE DATE HUH
October 2014! Figured I’d reblog this again because it seems to be making the rounds again… And there might be a giveaway in the works… Maybe~
I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO WILL BE SELLING THIS BOOK SO I CAN BUY IT AND FORCE IT ON ALL OF MY FRIENDS!
Hi! My dashboard is dead and I want to follow more people! So please reblog if you post:
And I will check you out/follow you! c:
With all the wants for magical girls with different body shapes and/or non-pale skin tones, I feel like any ones that exist aren’t liked so much for their character, but instead primarily of their appearance.
Submitted by Anon
The problem isn’t that people don’t like the ones we have…it’s that there are so very precious few. People love what we have, but we need more, is what it is.
Although it is true that often people like them for their appearance and jump on anyone who ever says anything bad about them ever. I’d prefer people disliking them for their character than likeing them because they “look different etc.”